my shadow's the only one
that walks beside me
my shallow heart's
the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wish someone out there
will find me
'til then i walk alone
broken dreams
a shattered heart
a lonely soul
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
11:58 PM
Last tue of the month. wonder nxt month wld i still be off on every tue? recently also not feeling very nice..maybe shimin was rite. she saw my blog n her first rxn was 'stella, why u feel so emo one' diaox. hai~ granduncle passed away last wk. went to attend his wake for last two daes n hence sat i apply for first half dae off. annie was nice enuff to ask mi take whole dae, but i dun wan la. tink nxt mth half dae off gone. i rather deduct my pay den deduct my offs sia. that sat nite went for to catch the forbidden kingdom. lucky i booked the ticks right. movie so so la. but i tink i fell aslp during certain parts cus simply tooo tired le. wake up super earli in the morning. as wad im telling aiying ytd, todae morning attending sth that determines my future. lol~ make it too exagerating liao. den she thot i gg xiang qing sia. also chatted on some PnC stuff n we were competing, lets c who will win la! aft attending tt sth, went dwn OOB for the liscense payment. met one of our junior there. diaox. their starting pay is like so high lo. wah piang ehh. can be compare to my current's liao le. lunch was at the t.bahru food market. had the lor mee with fish meat. *yummy* there mani nice foodies lor. aftnn went to a mt elizabeth medical centre for check up..or rather second opinion. that place is even more class than my 5* 'hotel' . more professional so of cus the bigger my pocket is burnt. i tink i nearly faint when i saw the bill. so damage burnt for medical bills for tis mth add up i tink ard 700. wah piang eh, i tink with that amt i can really buy LV or gucci liao le. really heart pain lor. althou sis sae its for my own gd, but i still v xing tong. i mean no pt gg for second opinion when u noe the results is still e same rite? during the process of waiting to see my doc, went to clear visison n saw weihui there. chatted w her for a while den left le. we were talking bt furthering studies. seem like most of our classmates like want to continue optometry, but im nt le. i also duno y. talkin bt tis, i recieve my offer letter frm ntu. w/o opening the letter i noe tt i sure get my first choice, but i sort of like regreeting putting tt as my first choice. well~ told myself, latest nxt yr i wld be back to sch!!! at times, i really wish that tt i dont see/hear stuff tt i dont wish to. how i wish those are transparent at least i wont nid to face it/them. last nite sth hit mi right hard, nt literally la. i keep repeating to myself those wrds. im tinking, i thot tt i've woke up? but maybe for a short while or maybe im deceiving myself all along. Im always doubtful, but yet i choose to be selective. Each time im feeling dwn, one of the reason is always the same. its such a stupid n silly one. and i wld always have one same thot. perhaps one dae, i wld really put tt thot into action. maybe tt dae will come soon. sth to look forward to. nxt off wld be mmeeting my dear mushies alr~ cant wait! since long we 4 hang out tgt le!
a lonely soul
with a shattered heart
+++
walking this empty street.
*~S+eLLa~*
20 oct 1987
sweet 19
SP DOPT
